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Monsters - Elvii


This is your brain on Elvis donutsType: Medium Abomination
Hit Dice: 4 d12 (25 HP)
Initiative: +7 (+3 DEX, +4 Imp. Initiative)
Speed: 30
AC: 18
Attacks: +4 melee or +6 heavy handgun
Damage/Attack: By weapon
Special Attacks: Charm, assimilation
Special Defenses: Charm
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +4, Will +10
Abilities: STR 13 DEX 17 CON 15 INT 12 WIS 10 CHR 20
Skills: Performing arts, song and dance; Driving; Professional Skill (variable)
Two-weapon fighting (heavy handgun), Fortitude, Improved Initiative
Climate/Terrain: Any inhabited
Organization: Posse
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: Standard, 3x gems and jewelry
Alignment: LN or LE

Advancement: 6-9 HD

Elvii are the sad remains of people assimilated by Elvis Donuts. They look alive, they talk and act as though they were alive (well, living Elvis impersonators, anyway), but their individuality is an illusion. Their hearts beat, but it is a foul, sticky-sweet, raspberry-flavored jelly from Hell that oozes through their veins, not blood. They seek to spread the word that Elvis is alive and has come to redeem the world - all you have to do to attain salvation is to accept his body and blood, which were shed for you and are here in this donut. For God so loved the world, He sent His only begotten son, Elvis Aron Presley....(usually cut off by the sound of massed gunfire)

Elvis infestations are very difficult to root out completely. A male Elvis will put a great deal of effort into hiding and providing for a donut nest; female Elvii are notoriously seductive (dare we say they ooze sex?) and can almost always find a way to use their donut-given sexuality to get out of a bad spot. Even killing Elvii outright is very risky, since the jelly in their systems is prone to splatter extensively when the host body is injured. Getting even a small amount on exposed skin is usually enough to initiate assimilation.

Both male and female Elvii are very charming and persuasive - so much so, in fact, that it qualifies as a spell-like ability. They may use this charm at will, even in combat.

In combat, Elvii prefer to use heavy handguns - the bigger and flashier, the better. They definitely choose style over substance here - a big, nickle-plated .357 magnum revolver would be preferred over the much less impressive, but more lethal, Glock, without exception. They frequently use one gun in each hand, and look damn good while doing it. They may not hit anything, but they look very impressive. Unfortunately, all too often an Elvis is both impressive looking and very accurate.

The best way to deal with Elvii is at range with a flamethrower. Many Elvii wear costumes that are encrusted with gold and gems that survive the flames that destroy the lethal jelly inside them. Just to be safe, washing loot taken from a dead Elvis in a medium-strength acid bath is a sensible precaution.

Special Abilities:

Charm (Sp): Just by talking, an Elvis may attempt to charm anyone in earshot.Victims may make a Will save vs DC 20 to resist. Elves have the same resistance to this ability as they do to any other charm-like spell or spell effect.

Assimilation (Ex): Elvii can initiate assimilation through any form of mucous membrane contact, including sexual activity and openmouthed kissing, between themselves and their intended victim. Any form of physical contact with an Elvis is dangerous; risking a kiss requires a Fort save at DC 25. Intimate contact raises the save DC to 30.

Donut jelly splattered in combat is also dangerous. If any amount contacts the skin, the victim must make a Fort save vs DC 20 or be assimilated.

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