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Monsters - Donuts of Elviskind

Donuts of Elviskind

The living Evil that is the Elvis DonutType: Small Abomination
Hit Dice: 1d12
Initiative: Std
Speed: 5
AC: 12
Attacks: 0
Damage/Attack: 0
Special Attacks: Assimilation
Special Defenses: Ooze form
Saves: +6 Fort, -6 Ref, +6 Will

Climate/Terrain: Any inhabited
Organization: Hive, box of 12
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: 1/2
Alignment: NE

Excerpt from Your Loved One Has Left The Building (and must now be hunted down and killed): A Guide to Detecting And Destroying Elvis Infestations, pub. 2005 by the Kansas Coalition Office of Emergency Preparedness.

"Elvis donuts are a pernicious, insidious evil that threatens the future of every post-Change survivor group, no matter what size. Once the Elvis donut infects a settlement, it is in mortal danger. The only hope is to meet the scourge with swift and blinding violence, killing all the tainted individuals and purging the land with fire. There can be no overkill with the Elvis donut; no measure of eradication is too extreme, no cost in collateral damage too high, for any lesser measure risks less than total eradication. And less than total eradication means the threat continues, returning again and again, bringing with it a Hellishly high price in lives lost and resources wasted each time it rears its grimacing, pomade-soaked, sideburns-wearing head.

When fighting the Crimson Peril, it is important to remember that once someone has tasted, voluntarily or involuntarily, the Forbidden Pastry, he or she is no longer the person they once were. They are now a mindless puppet, wholly and totally under the command of their pulsating, gelatinous master. If any portion of them remains the friend or loved one you once had, rest assured that portion is begging for mercy and screaming for you to end their torment. If you love them, honor their wishes and destroy the abomination that is perverting and polluting their once pristine physical body. It is not murder, for your loved one is already dead.

The ingestion of even a minute amount of donut jelly initiates a horrid battle in the body of the victim; the body's physical defenses have moments only to reject the invader before all is lost; if the victim is strong and their body reacts quickly enough, the Hell-spawned jelly is forcibly ejected from the would-be victim's body in a violent spasm of purification. These spasms are unmistakable, but all too rare. Much too often, the assimilation of the victim's precious bodily fluids is smooth and successful. The victim's blood, spinal fluid, lymph, and reproductive fluids are consumed and replaced with oozing, pulsating, living Hell Jelly.

The whole process takes less than an hour, and the victim is alive and conscious during the majority of it. The victim may begin seeking out clothing appropriate to their new status; both male and female victims experience a change in voice and a deformation of facial features. Female victims do not gain the trademark sideburns or pompadour hairstyle, but their transformation is equally hideous. Female victims are very likely to become very slender, experience significant growth and firming of the breasts and buttocks, and find their hair becoming either long and carelessly tousled, or done up in a variety of hairstyles common to the 1950's. They become wanton sexual predators, and their glossy, pouting, ruby lips and inhumanly curvaceous, buxom bodies invite the unwary and sexually permissive to enter the crimson gate to Hell!

Once the transformation is complete, male Elvii immediately begin producing donut buds. These bright red pustules are most commonly found under the arms or along the upper thigh of their 'parent' Elvis. When they are about the size of a nickel, they bud off, and begin consuming any available organic matter. They feed and grow until they are full sized and have formed a flaky crust around themselves. At this time, they are ready to go into the world and destroy another innocent life. This entire process takes less than a week, depending on the level of food the buds can assimilate. Donut buds prefer their environment to be dark and humid, and are frequently drawn to bathing and washing areas because of this. Female Elvii do not produce buds; they rely on the male weakness for fornication to spread their evil.

Only fire can purge the world of this evil. Even if the body is slain, the Hell-spawned jelly lives and thrives. It immediately begins to seek a new host unless doused with oil and set ablaze. When every last glob of jelly is a smoldering cinder, go back and look again, and again, and again after that.

Only ceaseless vigilance and an iron will to do what is required for the good of the group is acceptable in this struggle; our enemy will heed no reason, accept no failure, and show no mercy in its ceaseless, remorseless drive to bring all people, everywhere, under its slimy, amorphous, throbbing grip."

Game notes:

Assimilation: (Ex) Ingesting even a small amount of an Elvis donut runs the risk of assimilation. The victim is entitled to an immediate Fort save to avoid assimilation. The save DC depends on the amount of donut ingested. Dabbing a small amount on the end of a finger is DC 20. Eating an entire Elvis donut requires a DC 30 save. An average bite results in a save DC of 25. If the save is successful, the contaminant is vomited out and the victim is safe. There is only a small window of time to attempt to purge the victim's body before assimilation occurs - usually, only a few minutes.

Once assimilation is complete, the victim is essentially dead, though they do appear to be alive and can speak and respond in all ways as if they actually were still alive. They are not undead, as their bodies still function normally; but the mind and spirit of the person they once were is gone forever.

Ooze form: (Ex) The bright red, gelatinous substance inside an Elvis donut has the normal properties of an ooze. Standard weapons cannot harm it; only fire, acid, or magical attacks can destroy it.

A sufficiently powerful cleric must cast cure disease and raise dead to restore the victim of an Elvis donut to life

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