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Dear Diary...

04/15/07:

                Did I mention that I was getting married?

                Compared to the last two weeks, Reno was a walk in the park. A park with a demon octopus in the duck pond, but still a park.

                Got word today that Izzy, Cordelia, and Ellen are coming out for a visit, and then Cordy will stay for the wedding and Izzy is going to stay and help me! Bless her little ol' heart! While we were talking about that Leo got real quiet. I asked him later if something was wrong.

                "What are we doing about gifts? Is there some sort of registry for this kind of thing anymore? More importantly - is it morally correct to accept gifts from people?"

                I gave him a big kiss, "That's why I love you so much. I've told people that if they feel it's necessary to give a gift that they make a donation to the charity of their choice in our name."

04/17/07:

                Olivia teleported to Colorado today and brought back Cordy, Ellen and Izzy just in time for lunch. Cordelia is so excited at the prospect of her baby brother getting married and confided that she's seeing someone back in the Kingdom and that it's 'serious'. Izzy was all excited at the prospect of having a 'real' kitchen to work in for awhile and is just filled with great ideas for the wedding and the reception. When lunch was finished Olivia asked the girls if they wanted to go shopping in New Ectopia.

                "How much trouble could we get into?" Cordelia asked.

                "Oh you never know…." I said and told Olivia that I'd prefer to stay behind.

                "Oh come on! It will be fun!" Olivia said.

                "Liar," I said.

                Ellen said that she wanted to go so she, Cordelia and Olivia went off to go shopping while Izzy and I sat down and started making lists of everything that she's going to need. The girls got back well before they took me out to dinner and then back for a bridal shower.

                We had so much fun! It was Allison, Maisara, Ellen, Cordy, Izzy, Annike, Brenda, Jennifer, Olivia, Binion and myself. Binion really got into the swing of things and really liked the idea of bridal showers (but was a little baffled by the shower games) so we told her all about baby showers!

                I think the Cats are going to get a new social institution!

04/28/07:

                The last week has been absolutely insane! Decorations, flowers, menus, food, final fittings for the wedding party - thank Corellon for Izzy. And for margaritas at the pool!

                Oh...Be afraid. I found out that Olivia has a big bachelorette party planned for the 30th, while Rodrick and Alfred are taking care of the honors for Leo.

                Be very afraid.

04/30/07:

                Bachelorette party.

                What can I say? At least no one got hurt, and at no time were the authorities called. I think I can thank the presence of two Overlords for that. We started with dinner at a really nice restaurant and then moved on to the 'entertainment'. It took a few drinks but we got Maisara to spill the beans about Leo's party.

                Leo, Rodrick, Alfred, Jim, Walter, Lucifer, Caesar, a bunch of Leo's buddies from Nellis and most of Rodrick's men were all off at 'an undisclosed location'. Jim was not only providing 'girls', he had arranged to have two female Cats who have become quite the 'industry stars'. When Maisara found out that Jim was providing the 'talent' for Leo's party she insisted that he send some of his finest (and my! Were they fine!!!) male entertainers over to my party.

                I don't think I will EVER forget the sight of Binion stuffing money into a g-string!

05/01/07:

                The Big Day!

                Started out with the wedding breakfast - which started out with a round of go-juice for everybody!

                When breakfast was done - Rodrick pulled me aside to ask if I had any explanation for the fact that Allison returned home last night wearing nothing but men's underwear and a man's shirt.

                "At least she made it home," I said, "And at least she was wearing something." Izzy shooed all the men off to the Paris to get ready and all the women upstairs to do the same. Caesar and Binion showed up and Caesar had his entire crew of costume, makeup and hair people. Cats need a lot of hair gel.

                The ceremony was about to begin - Izzy was lining everyone up to march down the aisle - when Binion told Caesar, "Remember what I told you! She is the center of attention here. You will walk her calmly and sedately down the aisle and place her hand in the hand of her beloved and then you will quietly sit down next to me."

                "But," he said.

                She cut him right off, "There will be no waving, no nodding or mugging for the camera."

                "You mean I just - walk?"

                "Yes. That is what I mean. I have watched a lot of movies about weddings. You just walk her down there and then you sit down." Izzy indicated that it was time for Binion to take her seat and she gave Caesar one last glare before leaving.

                Once she was gone Caesar turned to me and said, "I realize it's your wedding day - but did you see how many photographers there are?"

                I gave his hand a pat, and assured him, "At the reception you can have the first toast. All attention will be on you."

                "Really?" he sounded like a kid!

                "Really."

                He turned to one of his assistants, "Did you hear that? Get my scriptwriters on it. Right now!"

                Then Izzy signaled us - it was our turn. And I'll give Caesar credit- he was the very image of dignity. Why had I not noticed how long the center aisle of the Cathedral is? It seemed to take forever!

                Leo was waiting at the alter, looking very nervous, but also very handsome, in his dress whites. Rodrick (also in full dress whites - Allison is a lucky girl!) was looking like he was ready to laugh at Leo - fortunatly, he didn't. I'd have just had to kill him where he stood, and he knew it. Walter was also in his dress whites and Alfred looked his usual unflappable self in white Armani. Jim was between him and Phillips. Jim was looking eerily calm but I figured whatever might happen, would happen, so I didn't worry about it.

                On the other side were all the gals - what an assortment! A Drow, an Orion and three Humans. Fortunately - the color I'd picked for them to wear was 'neutral' enough to look good on all of them. Now there's a problem your average bride never had, Before. Seafoam just does not work on an Orion!

                Then I had an awful thought!

                I never - not once - discussed with Annike what she was going to wear while performing the ceremony. I had a sudden image of her standing on the alter naked as a jaybird. OK, I now understand what guys mean when they talk about 'turtleing'. Then she walked out and stepped up onto the altar wearing some very nice (and very concealing) silk robes. Thank Corellon!

                That's the last thing I remember about the ceremony - it's all a blank to me - well, I guess that's why you have the whole thing photographed! My memory seemed to return as the wedding party arrived at the reception. Izzy's photographers were snapping away as Leo led me out onto the floor for the first dance. Then the entire wedding party joined us for the next dance. For the third dance Olivia led Leo away to dance.

                "Be nice!" I warned her and as they moved away I heard her ask. "So Leo, how many kids are you two going to have? I want lots of nieces and nephews to spoil."

                "So get a cat," Leo told her, "or maybe a dog."

                "I'm not into four legged pets," she told him and I saw him roll his eyes at her, "Shut up and dance, Olivia."

                Then Phillips claimed me for a dance and when it was done he kissed my forehead and said with a wink, "You should have asked, you know."

               I could feel my face turn red, "Well I was planning on it - but we had to leave town and then 'things' happened with Leo…."

                He gave a small laugh, "That's quite alright - it's flattering to know that I'm your secret booty-call."

                I don't know who told him - Rodrick or Olivia - but I'm gonna kill 'em.

                Toasts were made and after hers, Annike left to take care of her other 'duties' for the day. Caesar certainly made the most of his camera time (and I'm pretty sure I saw Binion poking him - urging him to wrap it up, for all the good it did her!). All in all it was perfect - Izzy completely outdid herself! The food was fabulous and the dancing went on and on. Caesar even asked me to dance while Binion partnered Leo. Lucifer must have danced with every woman present - he's a dancin' fool (and very John Travolta - ish).

               When it was time to go, there was a limo to take us to Caesar's Palace. His and Binion's gift to us was two weeks there, all the pampering we want and the promise that we won't be disturbed, short of open warfare in the streets. Rodrick had decorated the car, complete with shoes; cans and Orc skulls tied to the back bumper of the car. He very proudly pointed out that the skulls were all nice and 'clean'.

               "Right!" Olivia said, "Can't have parts falling off in the street - that'd be a health hazard."

               "Right!" I agreed, "That would be a bad example and we are such pillars of society."

               On the short trip to the Palace Leo informed me that he had resigned his commission and that it had been accepted. He is officially retired! "Good!" I told him, "You can come adventuring with us full time."

               "Well someone has to watch over you lunatics, and as the only level headed one in the bunch…"

               Yep. I pummeled him. All the way to the Palace.

Continued...